The other night, I stumbled upon a TV interview:
'Emotional abuse survivor shares red flags she overlooked.'
The hosts were interviewing a successful female entrepreneur I was familiar with, and as I watched and then read her story, I experienced a range of emotions:
On the one hand, I thought, "She got out, and now she's speaking out. About emotional abuse, too! That’s awesome!”
Then on the other hand, I thought, “Her story seems less complicated than mine. More… relatable. So it's easier to believe.”
Oh, boy!
I recognized right away that these were limiting beliefs, and I knew I had some work to do.
So I dove in and just some of what I uncovered is the lingering belief that I’m still “not enough” and that I need to “prove myself.”
Then I kept digging in, and I came to the following question:
"What if the stories I haven’t yet shared are some of the very stories women need to hear MOST from me? ESPECIALLY the ones that seem ‘complicated’ and less ‘relatable!’”
Things like how:
After years of trying different avenues, it ultimately wasn’t a therapist who helped me make sense of my history of abuse– it was learning from a trusted shamanic practitioner. Combined with my faith in Jesus.
Not exactly therapy couch and clipboard vibes. But it worked!
And how I didn't just put an end to a 14-year long emotionally abusive relationship. I left a whole family and friend group behind. Colleagues, too.
Not something you hear a girl from Long Island, NY do everyday. But it helped!
And so I had to realize:
The women who truly need to hear my stories ARE the ones who will be able to relate or be inspired to take a different route!
They’ll be the ones to find RELIEF in someone else having a story with lots of layers, twists, and turns. And know that it’s OKAY if they do, too.
And finally:
If I were to stay stuck in feeling “not enough” and focusing on who believes me (which is out of my control) vs. BEING OF SERVICE, then I won’t be able to keep helping ANYONE. Not even myself!
Which is EXACTLY what the evil of this world wants. And I definitely do NOT consent to that.
You shouldn’t either.
💜 Malana